Motherhood has taught me a lot of things about myself. For example, before having children, I didn't fully realize that I am a closet perfectionist. And, yes, I know that "closet perfectionist" is a double-entendre (a word/phrase with more than one meaning). So, I am a closet perfectionist because (1) my closets must be perfect and (2) I tend to not let other people know that I am a perfectionist. I didn't really have to face my own perfectionism until children came along...and...DESTROYED EVERYTHING that I was so perfectionistic about.
I have also realized that my perfectionism often manifests itself in compulsive organizing. I really, really, REALLY love it when everything has its own place, and when things are put back where they go. I RELY on being organized during crazy, stressed-out times, so that I can find what I need, when I need it.
[I'm sure you know where this is leading...]
We all know that there is no crazier, more stressed-out phase-of-life than the transition-to-parenthood. This is a time when I have needed my own organizational systems more than ever before...and, yet, since having children, my urge to organize has been the source of deep frustration for me. I have, by some miracle, found time here-and-there to create would-be effective organizational systems...like toy bins with labels, so that the kids and their babysitters can put the proper toys back in the proper bins. But, really, do you think this actually happens? (Can I get a resounding "HELL NO!"??) I have organized our mud room, kitchen cabinets, laundry room, kids closets (of course!), etc etc etc. And nothing stays put. I can never find what I need. I live in a constantly migrating house.
So, I have a new method for dealing with this problem. In order to keep myself from freaking out, crying, or flying-off-the-handle--I AVERT MY EYES. Or I shut a door. Or I make the conscious decision to not THINK about the mess-that-was-once-organized. (Really, this could make me cry. Is that insane or what?)
Because if you are like me, and you need some help with raising your kids (while you work, or even work out), and running your house...then you know that HAVING HELP = RELINQUISHING CONTROL. This is so hard for me. I want the help, but I also want other people to think and do what I would think and do...and, well, it just doesn't work like that.
And, all of this really just makes me hate the stupid Pottery Barn catalog even more. (That post is coming soon.)
Hmm. I may just copy and paste this to MY blog, as I can identify with pretty much all of that! (Esp. hating the Pottery Barn Kids catalog. Hah.) Although, I am not so hyper organized as I am hyper-CLEAN, which also doesn't work so well with two small kids and one enormous dog in the house.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me want to cry to have been on the floor, on my hands and knees with Lysol wipes scrubbing the baseboards of the bathroom, only to have the whole room be covered in toilet tissue dust and grubby fingerprints by the next day. So I too just close my eyes, and refuse to allow myself to clean it again until next week's scheduled maintenance! Otherwise I would literally never.stop.cleaning.
DH--In my house, the baseboards would be covered in pee within minutes! (I have boys...) Argh--I feel you!
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