Poop: It's What's For Dinner

My younger son, Tot-Tot, is totally obsessed with poo-poo. And pee-pee. And poo-poo and pee-pee.

He is a really verbal child. He started talking well before he was a year old. He has an extensive vocabulary. Self-expression is a true talent of his.

But you wouldn't know it.

Because, these days, it's all potty talk. All the time.

If you ask him how he's doing, he'll say, laughing: "POOPY IN YOUR UNDERPANTS!"

If you ask him what he wants for dinner, it's: "Poo-poo. And pee-pee." (And then he might add something about eating it until he gets so sick he dies. Oof.)

If you ask him to share a toy, he might respond: "I'm gonna poop all over your head!"

Behold the 3-year-old mind. (And he's turning 4 in 2 short weeks.)

My older son, Big Boy, never had a poop obsession. So even though potty talk seems totally age-appropriate, I didn't have to endure it with boy number one. Big Boy also had no problems with pooping on the potty, which has been an ongoing issue for Tot-Tot. TT is one of those preschoolers who will only poop in a pull-up. He wants to go standing up. In a corner. Often in the playroom. Or under a table. Sometimes in a restaurant. It's. So. Ew. But I try not to make a big deal of it. And he has agreed that when he is four, he will go on the potty.

God, I hope so.

And maybe...just maybe...then the endless potty talk will stop. Once the poop goes in the potty, maybe then he won't need to be so obsessed with it.

Maybe? (Please don't tell me this is just a boy thing.) (And that I will have to live with this.) (I am dreading the pre-teen years enough already.) (Thanks.)

Manifesting Mama

A friend of mine recently sent me this link to an article about a woman who, for years, visualized winning the lottery for $112 million dollars. She pictured everything, down to the shirt she would be wearing.

Then she won the lottery. For $112 million. (While wearing the shirt.)

Although this story is pretty amazing, I can't say that I am 100% convinced that people have the ability to "manifest" their futures by their own faith and conviction. But, then again, I can't say I've ever tried it. Have you? Have you ever been completely convinced, beyond a doubt, that a particular future yearned-for event would happen? And then it did?

In spite of all my endless whining, complaining, and over-analyzing of everything, I have to say that my life is actually pretty f'n good. And I do believe that I got to this point in my life because of my own drive, determination, and will-power. I'd even say that at critical moments, I had premonition-like experiences (like I had a feeling, shortly before I met my husband, that I was on the verge of finding the right man for me...I started the break-up process with my boyfriend at the time based on that feeling...then I met my husband).

But I wouldn't go so far as to say that I have made the life I want by visualizing it. I would say, though, that I have generally believed in myself and that this faith has gotten me pretty far. Lately I have been struggling with having faith in myself and my abilities...and I have begun to wonder if the problem now is that I just don't know what I want for myself. What I would manifest if I had that power?

So, I would like to try it. I'd like to do a visualization experiment. Not to test the powers of the universe, but as an exercise in working through how I imagine my future.

The problem is that I have no idea what I actually want beyond what I already have. I don't know what I want the future to look like. Maybe it never occurred to me to visualize my life beyond this current point. I never imagined what would come after getting married, having children, and running a psychology practice. And now I have achieved all of that.

So what next?

Trusting Myself

Wow. Really? May 10th? 2010? That was my last post?
Jesus.
What happened to me?
It's hard to say. Or, rather, it's hard to sum up. I guess the bottom line is that life has been kicking my ass...and I am finally starting to kick back.

One of my patients recently gave me a book called "Trusting Yourself."

I love it when people give me unexpected books...usually there is some important message in it for me. And when a patient gives me a book, it is even more meaningful--since they are often also handing me a piece of themselves.

What is especially cool about reading this book is that I can see why I needed to read it. For me. And for my patient. I'm learning about us both.

I am someone who has always felt self-assured. But recently--over the past few years I guess, and especially the past year--I have felt more self-doubt than before. Doubt about myself as a mother and a wife. Doubt about myself as a friend. Doubt about myself as a professional. Doubt about myself in just about any area... This kind of self-doubt can become toxic...it can lead to self-pity, which is something I hate, but often find great comfort in.

So the book, "Trusting Yourself," was a timely gift. Because, really, trusting ourselves is our main challenge in life. Trust that you know what is right for you. Trust that you have what it takes to get where you need to go. Trust that you will be ok. Trust that you are good, through-and-through. And when you fail, trust that you will learn and will do better the next time.

If we could trust ourselves, in all areas of our lives, just imagine how free we would feel. Trusting ourselves, and accepting ourselves where we are, without judgment. If you can do that for yourself, you will be able to do it for others too. And life will be better for everyone.