Manifesting Mama

A friend of mine recently sent me this link to an article about a woman who, for years, visualized winning the lottery for $112 million dollars. She pictured everything, down to the shirt she would be wearing.

Then she won the lottery. For $112 million. (While wearing the shirt.)

Although this story is pretty amazing, I can't say that I am 100% convinced that people have the ability to "manifest" their futures by their own faith and conviction. But, then again, I can't say I've ever tried it. Have you? Have you ever been completely convinced, beyond a doubt, that a particular future yearned-for event would happen? And then it did?

In spite of all my endless whining, complaining, and over-analyzing of everything, I have to say that my life is actually pretty f'n good. And I do believe that I got to this point in my life because of my own drive, determination, and will-power. I'd even say that at critical moments, I had premonition-like experiences (like I had a feeling, shortly before I met my husband, that I was on the verge of finding the right man for me...I started the break-up process with my boyfriend at the time based on that feeling...then I met my husband).

But I wouldn't go so far as to say that I have made the life I want by visualizing it. I would say, though, that I have generally believed in myself and that this faith has gotten me pretty far. Lately I have been struggling with having faith in myself and my abilities...and I have begun to wonder if the problem now is that I just don't know what I want for myself. What I would manifest if I had that power?

So, I would like to try it. I'd like to do a visualization experiment. Not to test the powers of the universe, but as an exercise in working through how I imagine my future.

The problem is that I have no idea what I actually want beyond what I already have. I don't know what I want the future to look like. Maybe it never occurred to me to visualize my life beyond this current point. I never imagined what would come after getting married, having children, and running a psychology practice. And now I have achieved all of that.

So what next?