This morning, we made a last-minute decision to take the boys shopping for fall clothes. Even though other parents might have thought it was an early start (10:45am), by the time we arrived I was already afraid that we were too late and our poor planning was going to cost our toddler his beloved afternoon nap. The day was a blur of visiting the potty, snacking, diaper changing, toddler-chasing, getting lunch, toddler-soothing, and returning to the potty. We were there for about 3 hours, 30 minutes of which were spent shopping. And, of course, we screwed up our toddler's nap.
These are the times when I get the most stressed about parenthood. I want to make sure that everyone's needs are met...the kindergartener's, the toddler's, GEH's, and, finally, mine. When I lose track of time, or when I feel unorganized and scattered (which is often!), I just start hating this phase of life. I think I can't do it...I can't get things right for everyone...someone is hungry, someone always has to use the potty, someone is tired or frustrated. I feel frazzled trying to keep everyone comfortable, and then I usually realize that I am frustrated, tired, starving and haven't peed for hours myself...
But in spite of all my stress, my kids love these outings. If the toddler doesn't nap, his behavior may be erratic (and sometimes intolerable), but he will go to bed early. He spends most of his days at home, so these outings are, to him, a valuable change of pace. And the kindergartener thinks shopping is the best activity ever. He loves trying to convince me of why he must have every item in every store... (And making up reasons why is probalby the most strenuous cognitive exercise I get!)
I wish I could relax and enjoy the day...and just know that in the end, it will all be fine. I write this as my kids are sleeping soundly, in spite of the loud thunderstorm outside. Maybe I could learn something from this moment...It may be storming outside, but, really, things are safe and calm inside.
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