Rush, Rush

I imagine you've noticed how rude people can be driving their cars...zooming in front of you, cutting you off, not waiting their turn (GEH calls those "opportunists!"). On days when I am calm enough myself, I like to watch these patterns. It has been striking me lately that pretty much everyone is a narcissist when they drive (at least in my neighborhood). It's as though no one else's needs matter to the driver who ignores the stop sign to get in front of you. There's no empathy when someone tries to rush past you and nearly clips the back of your car. And...why is that?

Here's my theory. I think that our world is moving too fast, and everyone is, literally, speeding out of control. I imagine that the dude in the pick-up truck who almost runs me down is hurrying because he's late to work because he was up half the night with his newborn and overslept... and now doesn't want to lose his job. The woman in the zippy convertible who's on her cell phone trying to find a babysitter is too distracted to connect with the world around her. In a world where everyone wants everything instantaneously (if not YESTERDAY), we don't stand a chance at empathy. There is just too much pressure on everyone. And we're all victims here...I know I often feel like my own world is speeding out of control. I mean, when I am the asshole driver, I certainly have GOOD REASON!

With our cell phones, and text messages, and e-mail, and instant messages, and twitter and our endless so-called "connectedness" (more on that in a future blog), we have no time to ourselves. No time to breathe, slow down, or think. Maybe it's this phase of life, but I feel constant pressure to be 100 places at once...and this really makes it hard to imagine life from someone else's perspective. It turns me, temporarily, into a narcissist on the road.

The one thing that I think saves me (and hopefully you) from rush rush rushing so fast that I wind up in an early grave is, ironically, the very thing that makes me rush in the first place: motherhood. Even though I am always hurrying for drop-offs and pick-ups and babysitter curfews, it is my children who put things back into perspective. I swear, my sons are little zen masters! They are always IN THE MOMENT. I tend to be in the future, but they bring me back to right-here, right-now. There's no escaping the pull, either...if you are with them, there is no choice but to just BE WITH THEM. And, I am thankful for this. It's a real gift I get...to slow down and connect, instead of rushing right through their childhood.

I hope the other drivers out there have kids to go home to...so they can take a moment to slow down and realize that the man-made pressures of the world are, frankly, crap. This is honestly something I think about in my car, trying resist social-pressure-induced narcissism...